Moving Forward, Day 12
After discussing limits and how they would enhance my ability to achieve goals, I played my computer game a little longer than I intended, ate a bit too much for dinner, and watched a considerable amount of television. Of the three indulgences, I would not for a second take back the television watched this evening. No spoilers, I promise, but LOST was incredible tonight.
Last winter, I spent a lot of time with someone who introduced me to LOST. We went to a bar called Professor Thom’s, where they show LOST every week during the season, and I had such a brilliant time meeting new friends there and watching the show that I felt compelled to catch up on the entire series. By the season finale, my relationship with the man who first brought me there had soured, but I still love LOST and met some wonderful people because of him.
Tonight, I returned to Professor Thom’s for the final season’s first episode. Although the city sadly hadn’t renewed their liquor license in time, the bar kept its many patrons entertained, filling both the downstairs dining area and the upstairs loft on chairs, bar stools, standing, and sitting on the floor. We scored excellent seats, and I enjoyed an amazing premiere episode with two wonderful people I’d met at last year’s finale (including my current boyfriend) and another fantastic friend of mine. During a commercial break, I ventured upstairs to see whether the upstairs had a crowd. It did, along with the man who introduced me to LOST in the first place.
We haven’t talked, at my request, since the beginning of last summer, so I had a very distinct choice. I could turn and descend the stairs back toward my friends, or I could brave the re-“friending” process. Of course he saw me walk in, so I quickly waved and walked over to say hello. We caught up briefly for a few seconds until the show returned, and I told him my friends and I were downstairs waiting for dessert but that he should come say hi later. When I told my my two girl friends and my boyfriend what happened, they seemed surprised that I would have talked to him at all. He actually did come downstairs to say hello later, which must have felt strange for him too. Although our time together ended badly, I do believe that primarily well-meaning people ought to be able to mend fences and have respectful working relationships and friendships.
I’ll admit, I ended the conversation prematurely, partly because the night had ended and mostly because I felt awkward about introducing everyone and honestly didn’t know yet how I felt about the whole situation. Since last year, I’ve come to terms with the way things ended between us and recognize now that we both need very different things out of a relationship than we would have had together. With a better state of mind and having let go of the past, I’m grateful to have extended the albeit awkward olive branch and feel even more free to move forward.
Earlier in the day with a trip to the gym, I decided to forge ahead with my career as well, exercising on a stationary bike until I had finished reading a small book about auditioning for musical theater. I’m curious now about the necessity of a leotard at a dance call, which songs I’ll pick for my audition book, if I should start taking dance classes. Again I have a choice. I can paralyze myself in fear of the unknown, or I can continue to learn and begin to audition as I prepare. Before LOST, I went home, searched the Actor’s Equity Casting Call, and found two auditions I can attend on Thursday for which I feel ready, needing only a monologue, résumé and photo. As LOST’s season and my friendships move forward, so may my motivation and my career (and hopefully soon, my bedtime).