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Defeating My Inner Pansy, Day 27

February 24, 2010

I most wanted to go to Naked Angels again tonight and blog about networking and acting and cold readings and new potential friends and colleagues, as per my usual Tuesday nights.  Unfortunately, whatever virus lingers within me had other plans for today.  Upon waking, I realized the extent of my sickness and that I could no longer talk without revealing my unhealthy state and determined that effective networking does not include infecting other actors.  Reluctant to do any of the tasks I completed today, I nevertheless began by admitting that I can’t conquer this cold by self-medicating and setup a potentially expensive doctor’s appointment for tomorrow (one never knows with my insurance – any lawmakers out there intend to help?).

Admittedly, though I wasted too much time watching television and playing games today and forgot to do my core exercises, I gave myself a little leeway with my current circumstances.  Interestingly enough, I felt best when I finally began my workout at the gym and for about three hours after exercising.  Strange reaction for a likely sinus infection, no?  I bought some more healthy food at the grocery store and continued my new weight loss journey, which is going rather well on day two.  According to Spark People, I ate a few hundred too many calories and not quite enough protein but burned more calories in my workout – they really do have some excellent tracking and progress tools if one puts in the time to get started.  I even recommended the site via email to most of my family, though I hope they didn’t take offense to the suggestion and realize I just want more people to hold me accountable and get healthy with me.

Having a bit of activism in my blood somehow, my family knows better than most that I can get a little carried away with new goals and ideals, sometimes to the point of extremism.  In younger years, I channeled that energy unhealthily, sometimes judgmentally, and in a way that boxed me into a life not suited for me.  Despite a few recent lapses of discretion and perhaps some recent preachy behavior regarding obesity and health, I hope my new lifestyle of personal challenge uses that occasionally concentrated focus of mine for good.

Tonight, I focused that energy (after allowing myself the luxury of watching LOST) on setting more due dates to learn new monologues for auditions, update my professional website, learn Bach for my church job, learn the Verdi Requiem for my upcoming concert in May, and take a final look at publicity photos I’ve ignored for over a month.  I have and will continue to have many more due dates to set each week, but the simple act of filling up my calendar with “homework assignments” felt about as uncomfortable as a sworn bachelor setting a date for a wedding.

I admit to you all, I am a pansy.  I spend my days exercising and practicing and finding challenging tasks to keep my career and life moving forward, yet I have no current “day job.” I do have gigs here and there and some weeks have a more packed schedule than others but really?  Why have a minor stroke watching the white spaces on my calendar disappear?  Despite myself and my cowardly instincts, I set my dates, complete with email and pop up reminders so I have no choice but to pay attention.  Already, because of my due dates for the person who hates to do lists, I took the extra half hour to check through Michael Chadwick‘s photo shoot to add any extra touch up suggestions.  Michael, a great photographer in the city and fellow opera singer, shot some lovely pictures of me in Central Park in the fall before and around dusk.  We hit upon some wonderfully surprising gems, and I look forward to having a disk of them for publicity soon, perhaps as soon as this weekend.

In the meantime, I need to figure out how to stop blogging past my bedtime and get well and stay well.  I have some fantastic plans for tomorrow, including catching up with a great friend and attending a lecture on Debussy with some brilliant people at the European American Musical Alliance.  Let’s hope the doctor and my body give me that opportunity.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Donna permalink
    February 24, 2010 8:32 am

    Since I am family and I know you better than anyone else, the most important thing you do is get better before you go into a full blow “stay in bed” problem.

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