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How Lost Strengthens Friendships, Day 84

May 19, 2010

Safe bet?  No new blog post on a weekday equals Abby had a good time somewhere.  Enough said about that.

Although I obviously don’t dare to comment on every aspect of my daily challenges and outings, everyday in New York City certainly provides a smorgasbord of things to choose from to keep me busy, entertained, and perhaps a little too distracted.  The flannel snowmen sheets still not closeted away for the summer can attest to how little time I’ve spent at home lately, and I have yet to finish unpacking from my week in the Tri-Cities.  Striking a balance in this city does evade me from time to time, but my friends and events thankfully have kept me busy enough to slowly climb down from the wonderful high of a successful performance and week spent on the other side of the country.

Indeed, I prefer to wean myself off of the drama slowly so as not to shock my system.  Last night, I discovered the success of that method in helping me transition to a true friendship with someone by whom I suffered from some rarely substantial and unrequited love about a year past.  Witnessing it from the other side of the equation, I’ve had a few exes who have slowly or quickly moved to friendship with me, and I’ve watched as a couple of exes decided simply to remove themselves from my life entirely, unable or uninterested in repairing old bridges to the past.  Difficult as it may have seemed from the easier end of things, I always perceived their absence in my life as a less appealing option than dealing with the emotions and allowing for a potentially deeper friendship to replace a past romantic relationship.

It turns out, I can relate to and also faced the temptation of removing an old flame from my life entirely.  After a fun but not particularly stable romance throughout last spring, I took a complete break from dating for a few months, removed this great person from my Facebook friends so as to avoid the altogether unhelpful and unattractive temptation to Internet stalk (aka dwell), and didn’t see him again until this season’s premiere of Lost at Professor Thom’s.  Having spent plenty of time together at this Lost oasis not far from my favorite Trader Joe’s, although not altogether prepared at the time, I knew we would run into each other there eventually.

Despite an awkward first re-meeting, he and I have reconnected on Facebook and have texted each other occasionally to see if the other had plans to go to Professor Thom’s.  Amusingly, we never quite made it there together until last night, one measly episode before the end of the series.  I went primarily to see my friends Elizabeth and Matt, with whom I never really have the chance to spend much time; fortunately, I also ran into my long-lost friend at the end of the episode, when enough Lost-viewers had left the loft to once again allow substantial movement through the bar.   This time, we shared jello shots (a Professor Thom’s Lost party staple) instead of awkward pleasantries and spent some time near St. Mark’s Place to enjoy frosting shots and cupcakes at Butter Lane and pick up a bubble tea before going our separate ways.

Having had some solid time to finally catch up and renew our friendship, I can gratefully say we’ll see each other again, at the very least for the Lost finale party on Sunday.  When two people want different things out of life or each other, someone usually feels the pain of that separation for a while.  Seeing him again truthfully did bring up some old memories, both uplifting and a little bittersweet.  Still, we have clarity, honestly, and new lines drawn in a friendship between two good, well-intentioned, and deeply connected people.  I will probably cry on Sunday when Lost ends.  It speaks to love and human connection in a way only the best shows do, and those of us who have lived with and loved these fictional characters will (perhaps unnecessarily) mourn the end of our time with them.  Lost has brought at least three of my friends into my life and has actually deepened some friendships.  I thank God I took the time to mend and maintain the one we resurrected last night.

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