Overwhelmed yet Overflowing, Day 97
Sitting in my unusually quiet apartment for a few minutes before again running out the door, I haven’t yet completely absorbed the fullness of the last few days since Thursday’s memorial service. Amidst periodic moments of mourning, I gained so much from my time spent with four old friends in New Jersey and Philadelphia, some of my favorite people in the city at a surprisingly discombobulated restaurant and an enlightening play, my colleagues at Park Avenue United Methodist Church, a new partner in crime likely to play an important role in my blog and life, a somewhat recent companion surrounded by an unanticipated Tony-viewing party with the cast of Chicago, and finally my incredibly insightful voice teacher, W. Stephen Smith. It took me about fifteen minutes to word that sentence, so I certainly don’t expect anyone else to keep it straight!
Suffice it to say, I feel a bit overwhelmed and yet incredibly honored to have had a chance to step back and see the progression of my life from so many different viewpoints and angles. Perhaps the first to spark a long period of self-reflection, Saturday’s play, Quantum Poetics, fit brilliantly into the scheme of a multi-dimensional, somewhat confusing weekend. We went to see our friend Chris Hale, who played Lancelot in a confounding cacophony of characters from multiple times and places, including a God who wanted the others to prove their existence in order to prove his. Chris skillfully played a marvelously dumb and eager Lancelot, and the entire cast with little exception maintained an excellent momentum and performed in a manner worthy of a thought-provoking and imaginative production overall. Still in mid-workshop with full costuming and staging, hopefully Quantum Poetics will return soon to a theater near you.
Near myself, at the moment, looms yet another appointment in a seemingly endless cycle of growth. Having already stepped back to see my progress, both personal and vocal, with my voice teacher earlier this afternoon, I have no words to describe the joy that I feel over these early stages of embracing truth, abandoning excuses, and promoting greater feats with less fear both in my writing and in my life. Since February, I have skiied after a four-year hiatus, belly-danced, boxed, survived a breakup, enjoyed delicious and sadly neglected foods, found a trustworthy dentist after three years of avoidance, appeared (and posted photos!) in a bikini, lost almost ten pounds, shot a rifle, performed my heart out, earned my Actor’s Equity card, networked with countless strangers, repaired important friendships, mourned losses, and worked toward removing my own labels to live a fuller life, among many other things.
Doubtless I still have many demons to face and a long way to go as each day presents new opportunities to grow as a singer, actor, writer, and person. I hope you continue to join me, letting me know about your successes and sharing your inspiration, which we all so regularly need. In the meantime, thank you – especially my friends, family, and colleagues – for faithfully living in ways that sometimes take me to task and often trigger my own need for change. I owe you my love and my life.